


in the moments before death

by stillusesapencil



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, Sorry Not Sorry, my goal was to make people sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9191627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillusesapencil/pseuds/stillusesapencil
Summary: The final thoughts of the crew.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have only seen this movie once, and I have a suspicion that not everything is accurate. I apologize. All mistakes are mine.

**K-2S0:**

The first shot rips through him and the percent chance of failure goes up from 53% to 71%. He presses more buttons on the control panel, trying to hurry. Two more shots tear into his core and the percent jumps again.

He is sure they will fail. 

He runs multiple scenarios, attempting to find one where he and Cassian make it out alive. He cannot find one.

Another shot blasts through him.

He knows now, that he will not survive. He starts running percentages on survival for Cassian. And Jyn, too, he supposes.

“There is still a way to get the plans!” he shouts into the comm. “Climb! Climb!”

“Kay?” Cassian says. “Kay?”

He does not respond. Troopers burst through the door and he is riddled with shots.

He slumps forward onto the console. He keeps running scenarios, trying to find one where at least Cassian survives. He cannot find one. 

He stops running scenarios, choosing instead to make up one where they do survive. He thinks this must be the hope that Cassian was always talking about.

K2 is a robot, and not programed to have or understand emotions. He never could grasp concepts like _hope_ or _trust_ or _love_.

But when Jyn gave him a blaster, and stood there long enough that he could have shot her, K2 decides that it must be trust. What he is doing now, ignoring the facts in favor of believing they survive, he decides that must be hope. 

His processors whir, trying to keep running, but they are failing. The lights in his eyes flicker. He wonders briefly if Cassian will get back to the base to find his backup drive.

And he considers. He gave up so that Cassian and Jyn did not have to. Even now, as his systems fail, he runs scenarios, and he would do it again, every time. 

The lights go out in his eyes. 

The final thought in his head is, _This must be love._

~

**Chirrut:**

The second after he flips the switch, the explosion hits him, and he collapses. He smashes to the ground and he knows. He is going to die.

“I am one with the force and the force is with me.” He is going to truly be one with the force soon, he knows. “I am one with the force and the force is with me.”

Baze drops down beside him and pulls Chirrut’s head into his lap. 

“I am one with the force and the force is with me.”

Baze knows too, he can feel it. Chirrut is going to die, and something is shattering in Baze.

Chirrut tilts his head closer to Baze. He is willing and ready to become one with the force, and were it not for Baze, he would feel no sorrow. “I am one with the force…and the force is with me.”

Baze is shaking. He takes a breath. “The force is with me…and I am one with the force.”

Chirrut smiles, relaxing. The force glows around Baze, and Chirrut knows they will be in the force together. It will not be long.

“The force is with me, and I am one with the force,” Baze says again, and Chirrut lets go.

On the other side, he will wait for Baze to join him. Baze has been protecting him all his life. He won’t abandon Chirrut now. He lets the force take him.

He is one with the force. The force is with him.

~

**Baze:**

When Chirrut hits the ground, Baze knows. This is the end. 

He crosses the space between them and drops to his knees. He pulls Chirrut’s head into his lap.

“I am one with the force and the force is with me.”

Of course the fool is using his last breath to pray. He supposes Chirrut really wouldn’t have gone out any other way. 

He feels a sob rising in his chest. 

“I am one with the force…and the force is with me.” Chirrut is leaning into him now.

Baze swallows. Shaking, he says, “The force is with me…and I am one with the force.”

Chirrut relaxes as he smiles. 

The tears in Baze’s eyes spill onto his cheek. “The force is with me, and I am one with the force.” He wonders if Chirrut knows that when he says _the force_ he doesn’t actually mean it. He means Chirrut. Chirrut is with him, and very soon they will be in the force together. 

Chirrut goes limp in his arms. 

Baze lets him go. He stands to face his death. “The force is with me and I am one with the force.” He feels a shot tear through him. “The force is with me and I am one with the force.” Another blast rips through. 

He’s dying. He doesn’t care.

He died when Chirrut did.

~

**Bodhi:**

He plugs in the cord so Cassian and Jyn can beam the plans to the Rebels, and relief sags through him.

He sees the grenade hit the floor of the ship, and time slows down.

He would have enough time to dive and throw the bomb back out. It would be just enough time—just enough.

He wonders what would be the point. _To keep living,_ a quiet whisper in his soul says. _But why?_ he whispers back. He’s repented for his sins, done penance for his crimes. His debt to Galen Erso is repaid.

For a second, he is proud of himself for finding the bravery to do what needed to be done. 

He focuses on the grenade again and time speeds back up.

He’d done enough. It was okay.

The bomb explodes.

~

**Cassian:**

Cassian knew in the elevator he would not survive. The last fragment of hope is stolen from him as he kneels on the beach next to Jyn. 

She takes his hand. 

“Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn,” he says.

She smiles sadly back at him. She knows, too.

He takes a moment to mourn the half-formed hopes that had been building in him, that of a peaceful life tucked away on a planet untouched by the Empire, hopes of a dark-haired child. Hopes of dying peacefully of old age. 

Or perhaps they would have fought together, been mission partners, fighting until the war is won. Smuggled and fought and been the bane of the Empire’s existence. They would have made a good team.

They did make a good team.

They both gave up everything for the Rebellion. Now they are giving up their lives.

The wall of light draws nearer, and he pulls Jyn into a hug. She wraps her arms around him and rests her chin on his shoulder.

There are a thousand things he could say to her, and he cannot choose just one. He settles on nothing, just holding her a little tighter.

He had wished to die peacefully of old age, but this is not bad either. Going out in the line of duty, holding the woman he loves. Sending hope to the Rebellion.

He closes his eyes as the wall of light hits him.

~

**Jyn:**

Jyn does not spare a thought for the future. Instead she thinks of the past.

She thinks of all the times she has been abandoned, of all the people who left her when things went bad. 

And then she thinks of the one who stayed. She takes his hand.

“Your father would have been proud of you Jyn,” he says.

Tears rise in her eyes as she smiles back. They reach for each other and hug tight.

She remembers what he said to her, back on Yavin IV. _“I’m not used to people sicking around when things go bad,”_ she’d said, and he had said, _“Welcome home.”_

Welcome home. 

She hugs Cassian a little tighter and peace settles in her. 

The wave of light approaches and she smiles. She is at peace, and so she welcomes death. This way she cannot lose her home.

She squints into the light, and thinks, _Papa._

Feeling the heat she thinks, _Cassian._

Just before the blast consumes her, she thinks, _Home._

**Author's Note:**

> This movie completely wrecked me. Come cry with me on [tumblr](http://stillusesapencil.tumblr.com).


End file.
